The Secrets we Kept
by Firith13
Summary: A Story about love, about friendship and about Quidditch, A story about war and about sacrifice, and finding their way out of the darkness, this story is about many things but most importantly this story is about hope.
1. Chapter 1

Whatever is a cruel wrong,  
Whatever is unjust,  
The honest years that speed along  
Will trample in the dust...

A Story about love, about friendship and about Quidditch, A story about war and about sacrifice, and finding their way out of the darkness, this story is about many things but most important this story is about hope.

The Secrets we kept.

He stood at the lake and starred out at all its splendor he placed his hands in his pocket searching for warmth. The last of summer was gone and the world around him was changing into brilliant colors as the season of Autumn begins. The changing of seasons was reasons enough for him to seek solitude though there was more complex matters on his mind. He didn't know why he was here thinking about her of all people. It wasn't too long ago that he couldn't even say her name without a bitter expression on his face. He didn't understand how you could hate someone so much that you wish their death one day, and then the next they are the only thing you can think of, the only thing…you want. He has never been in a situation where money couldn't get him out of, his father never taught him about love, because he never did.

"I thought I told you wanted to be alone." He whispered as his friends came down the hill. Both of them out of breath from the trip and their cheeks were rosy from the weather.

"The feast will be starting soon." Goyle said after gasping for air. Draco shifted his body a little so that he could see the two of them better. He acknowledged that he heard them but made no effect for further conversation.

"Everyone is supposed to attend." Crabbe said taking a step closer.

"Everyone?" He whispered. Draco slowly shook his head "But not everyone will."

Crabbe stood there for a second with his head tilted and Goyle grabbed him by his coat and pulled him a little.

"Let's go." He said and headed up the hill towards the castle, Draco watched as his friends headed up the hill. They had always been there for him, even when the Dark Lord had assigned him the impossible task of killing Dumbledore. Because of his arrogance he saw them as mindless bodyguards and though they are not the most brilliant blokes he can now see them as the true friends that they are.

Draco didn't know how he could ever face any of them again, he was there when it had happened fighting for the wrong side. Draco grabbed his shelve and pulled it up, the dark mark had faded but he could still feel it and remembered the pain. He didn't understand why they let him live, why they had allowed him to return. He sighed deeply and headed up the hill deciding he couldn't put it off any longer. He stopped when he saw a figure coming towards him. Her long curly hair was wind blown and her cheeks wet from tears. He wasn't sure if he wanted to face her , but she was heading towards him and his pride wouldn't allow him to run

"I came to fetch you." She whispered.

"Why?" Draco asked as he starred into Herminone's blood shot eyes.

"You of all people should know that."

Draco looked down at his feet "I am…was a death eater, I don't belong there." Draco whispered

It took all her strength not to run to him to rekindle the flame they once had but his inner torment was transparent and the last thing he needed was to be reminded of the past.

"You saved my life." She whispered "You gave Harry the opportunity to save the world, you deserve to be here for than anyone."

Draco shivered as a gust of wind blew by them and for awkward moment neither of them could find the right words. Hermione felt foolish for even coming down here they only shared a few moments of passion she didn't understand why he of all people had her mind so messed up.

"Ron will be getting out of the hospital soon." She said breaking the silence. Draco glanced up at her trying to hide his hurt.

"He loves me you know."

Hermione waited for Draco but he said nothing he just nervously shifted his body weight he couldn't even look up at her. Hermione forced a smile biting her tongue the entire time and laughed.

"Well I'm not going to stand out here in the cold." She said and she turned away and forced herself not to look back. Everything in front of her made sense she knew who she was, what she wanted in life, but she couldn't help but think about what was behind her. That man made everything difficult and when she was with him nothing made sense. She didn't understand why he was in her head.

Draco couldn't bare to watch her walk away she was everything he wanted, but didn't deserve. It was unfair of him to want happiness when he had so many things to make up for.

It wasn't intended the night they shared and so many nights afterwards he wished it never occurred. She was so much more beautiful than she let anyone else see. Their bodies fit perfectly as if they were made for each other and while he kissed her and playfully messed up her already impossible messy curls he never thought once that this was wrong. His hands explored her amazed by every inch. Despite his boyish claims he had never been with a girl, there had been chances but he never took advantage and he didn't this time either.

Draco glanced up and saw that Hermione was out of view and he sighed miserably to himself. Last year not a month before his plan was set into action to trap and kill Dumbledore he was in a almost deserted library accept to his annoyance Hermione Granger that was surprisingly alone. Although he had been extremely consumed in his plan he had even noticed the fall out of the golden trio especially between Ron and her. Draco knew he should have been paying more attention to his wand movements but between the Dark Lord's plan and other business that he shouldn't have been concern with at all when the most embarrassing thing happened.

Draco glanced up when heard footsteps breaking his thoughts of the past he first thought it was Hermione and his heart lifted a little but than saw the familiar red hair she had her arms cross and she was walking quickly towards him. She walked up towards him and looked him directly in the eyes like Hermione she had been crying and she was shivering from the fall weather.

"What did you do to her you bastard?" She hissed and slapped him across the face

"Who…what?" Draco manage to mumble holding the numb side of his face.

"Hermione, she is in the bathroom crying and won't come out." She said placing her hands on her hip. Draco watched her hands carefully he didn't want to get slapped again.

"More or less what I didn't say." He whispered.

"What?" Ginny said tapping her foot. "I don't know what happened between you two and honestly I don't care. Hermione has lost one friend and nearly another and in her desperation for some reason she went to you!"

Draco took a step back "Nothing happened between us" Draco lied "I was the only other person there, I guess she somehow feels bonded."

Ginny glanced away angrily trying to think what else to say, "I don't like you." Ginny said matter-of-factly "but I love her and I can't ever judge her despite how stupid her choices may be." She said giving him a disgusted look.

"I do know one thing." She said before turning to walk away "Don't hold anything back." She continued with tears rolling down her cheek "Love them like you'll might lose them…because one day you might."

"Was it you in the Library?"

Draco looked at her intensely he was hurt that Hermione had mentioned it. Draco laughed and looked away.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ginny nodded "Good, because she is in love with this mysterious stranger."

"She told you that?"

"She told me about what happened and her feelings but despite my best efforts she never gave a name."

"Why did you think it was me?"

Ginny shrugged "When I heard you save her life and hexed Voldemort in the back giving Harry the chance to finish him off…I figured a person would only do something that stupid if he was in love too."

"We didn't even sleep together." Draco confessed "but I can't get her out of my head." Draco reached out and grabbed Ginny's arm.

"Please let her believe I don't love her."

Ginny looked at him oddly "Why?"

"She would be happier if I wasn't in her life in the long run."

"I would give anything to have Harry back for just one more day, and here you are with the rest of your life ahead of you and not willing to try."

"I love her." Draco said pulling Ginny closer to him "But I do not deserve her…I have so much I need to make up for."

"Fine." Ginny whispered "I won't say anything, but you're right about one thing…you never deserved her."


	2. Chapter 2

The Secrets we Kept

Part 2

Ginny knocked impatiently at the stall Hermione had barricaded her self in other than loud sobs she didn't answer.

"Hermione pull yourself together." Ginny said tapping boredly now. Hermione still didn't answer, Ginny knew she had to pull out the big guns to get her out of this stall. Ginny leaned against the stall and sighed.

"The speech will be beginning soon and everyone will be looking for someone to look up too, someone to be strong, Head Girl."

The stall door opened and Hermione glanced out, her face was completely red and soaked and Ginny shook her head disappointedly. And bought up her purse and pulled Hermione to the mirror.

"Not really your color, but it will have too do."

"I'll look so pale." Hermione complained as Ginny started applying the foundation.

"Better than red as a tomato" Ginny replied and continued trying to blend it in as best as she could. When she was finished Hermione examined herself in the mirror. It didn't look terrible, but it looked like she had been avoiding the sun. Hermione sighed she didn't really want this responsibility right now but it was her duty and she would do her best.

"Come on." Ginny said pulling at her arm and leading her back into the Great Hall. Everyone was too busy finishing their meal to notice the two girl walking in, Hermione was grateful. Neville was holding them a seat and gave Hermione a warm hug when she sat next to him. Hermione smile forcefully she was happy to see some many familiar faces, glad to see that so many had made it through the war but those who weren't here were painfully obvious. Hermione pretended not to notice when Draco slid in and sat between Crabbe and Goyle.

Draco noticed the hateful glares as he slid in next to his friends he didn't blame them he had taken a part of this war and had not fought with them but against. Although they are aware of his part in the final battle, very few had forgave him and or trusted him. He intended to prove them wrong, that he didn't switch sides at the last minute because he saw who was going to win. He had long before lost faith in you-know-who's cause when his lips touched hers.

"Just made it." Goyle said with a mouthful of sweets, Draco couldn't help but smile things never change with these two and he was glad for it. He glances across the hall Hermione was obviously ignoring him, and he wished their tables weren't so far apart. He was glad to see her surrounded by friends that cared and loved her. Where as besides Crabbe and Goyle here he is basically isolated.

The new Headmistress Minerva McGonagall stepped forward and placed her hands on the stand where Albus Dumbledore had so many times did before. Hermione noted that she looked to have age 10 years but seemed to be in good health since the battle. Like many others she had fought bravely to vanish the Dark Lord.

"We are given a rare gift by those who should be seating here with us, enjoying tonight's activities." She said softly everyone glanced around at the many empty seats the most obvious absence was that of Harry Potter.

"Our duty to them now is to live well and continue on remembering their sacrifices as well as their lives."

Everyone stood up and raised their glasses saluting those who lost their lives. Hermione tried desperately not to cry but there was no point of holding it back as many shared her lost.

"I believe it would have been their wish for us to continue on, to pick up the pieces. Hogwarts has been closed for more than a year and I warm heartedly welcome you all back to continue the year that was tragically taken from you. I welcome you all back, a year older, a year wiser. The school year started late because of the effort to for fill all teaching positions. I will be doing double duty as Headmistress as well as your Transfiguration Professor."

People clapped at this announcement. "Professor Slughorn has agreed to return as your Potions master." A few people clapped but not as many.

"And as your Defense Against the Dark Arts Hogwarts welcomes back Professor Lupin."

Everyone clapped loudly as he was their favorite DADA professor yet. "We do have quite a few first years from the year prior and this year, so please bare with us as we begin to sort."

At the mark the Great Hall doors opened and a teary eye Hagrid led a parade of big eyes first years.

"So many." Ginny whispered.

"It's a good sign." Hermione replied "They are our future."

The sorting took the better half of an hour and each table had plenty of new and anxious faces. "Good luck." Hermione replied. As Ginny had chosen as Prefect. Ginny looked at the number of them and sighed it wasn't her idea of a happy return watching over them.

"Before I release you to your common rooms I have a few announcements." McGonagall said loudly getting their attention.

"This year we have decided to cancel Quidditch between houses"

There was a few mourns but most of them had expected this "Because of the war many foreign alliances has been broken and as small gesture of hope to one day repair these alliances Hogwarts has entered the Junior World Cup."

Hermione glanced at Ginny "What's the Junior World Cup?"

"It's like Quidditch Cup where teams represent their countries, however the Junior World Cup teams represent their schools. We can play Quidditch from teams around the world." Ginny explained.

"There will be one team representing Hogwarts, good luck to those who want to try out."

Ginny frowned "Harry would have loved this."

Hermione placed her hand on her shoulder "He would have loved if you tried out."

Ginny nodded but didn't say anything else. "Hogwarts will be hosting the championship matches as well as social gathering of the teams that qualify for the championship, favorably being called the Quidditch ball."

Everyone clapped loudly "We have set these events to help bring cheer tot his dreary school year, but I want to remind you that you are representing Hogwarts and all that came before you."

McGonagall scanned across the room "I do believe it's time to find your beds and old friends you are dismissed."

Everyone stood up talking loudly Hermione gave Ginny a sympatric glance as she called all first years to follow her. Hermione headed out the great hall to nearly walk straight into a fight.

Draco stumbled back as he was punched in the face a small stream of blood tingled down his nose.

"You're not welcomed Death Eater!" A boy from Ravenclaw screamed and held his fist up ready to strike again.

"STOP IT!" Hermione yelled and pushed the boy back and pulled out her wand and poked the Ravenclaw in the chest "Step back." She ordered

The Ravenclaw boy looked passed her at Draco "You got to have a woman speak for you."

Draco said nothing he just looked at his feet. Hermione pushed her wand hard into his chest physically pushing him back "No he doesn't but as Head Girl." Hermione said showing her badge "It is my job to stop foolishness now you better walk away."

He looked down at Hermione and back towards Draco "Once a death Eater always a death Eater, he only joined our side because he saw that they were losing."

"You were there then?" Hermione said stepping close to him "I guess you were there risking your precious life"

"No…but…"

"Shut up." She interrupted "I was there my word should be enough." Hermione glanced back and saw Draco walking away. "I think everyone should head towards their common room before I start taking points."

Everyone reluctantly left gossiping about what had just happened Hermione was sure by tomorrow everyone will think the trauma of the war drove her nuts. For a brief few seconds she wanted to run after him but her logical side got the best of her.

"If he wanted you, he would have done something about it a long time ago." She whispered to herself she folded her arms and headed towards the Gryffindor common room. When she arrive Ginny was in the common room trying to explain everything to the first years most were too busy looking around to listen.

Hermione pushed her way through "Hey Hermione."

Hermione turned towards Ginny "Is it true that you about killed a Ravenclaw?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked down at the first years "Yeah, so much blood." She said making herself look scary for the first years. Ginny laughed loudly and a few first years did as well but others weren't sure if she was kidding or not.

Ginny excused herself from the first years and spoke softly "What happened?"

"Some jerk starting stuff with Draco."

Ginny sighed and looked away "Maybe they have the right too?"

Hermione glared towards her she couldn't believe she had said that.

"He did get help those Death Eater get in that killed Dumbledore, and who knows what else he's done."

"Like…save my life?" Hermione said looking angrily away.

Ginny placed her hand on Hermione's arm and leaned in to make sure the curious first years didn't hear in. "I didn't mean any offense, but you been acting strange. Whatever the matter with you, you need to get over it…I'm telling you this because I love you."

Hermione looked sheepishly away she had been acting irregularly but she couldn't bring herself to tell her it was because she was in love with the once Death Eater, Draco Malfoy.

"You're right, no more." Hermione said and gave the first genuine smile in months. Hermione ran up the stairs leaving Ginny to deal with the first years. Hermione laid on her bed thinking of ways to forget about Draco Malfoy. She didn't much care to erase the memory but she needed to symbolize the end of this silly thing. Hermione jumped up quickly and started searching through her trunk searching for a quill and a scroll.

She would write everything that has happened between then that would cause this impossible feelings and than she would burn it symbolizing her moving on. She sat up on her desk and begun to write

Draco didn't stop to speak with anyone as he entered his common room he gave acknowledge nods to Crabbe and Goyle but didn't stop to chat. His behavior changed must be very obvious if those too as thick as they are have noticed. The Slytherins mostly kept to themselves doing him the favor of just ignoring him completely.

Draco had been a vocal member of the Dark Lord's cause so it was understandable that their lack of reaction was merely because they didn't understand. Draco didn't understand himself, though if he chose to do nothing than he would be in Azkaban so in a way he is grateful. Although he doesn't know what his actions mean, emotional he had said to Ginny Weasley that he loved Hermione but he couldn't be in love with her…could he?

Only than the almost intimate encounter they shared more than a year ago the had been little contact between them. He couldn't possibly be in love with her, hate doesn't just turn to love so easily perhaps the other way around but not hate to love.

"Perhaps it's lust." He said to himself as he laid down alone in the dormitories. He had been trying to make sense of this entire thing since the night it happened he was sure Hermione was going through the same thing. Draco isn't naïve he notices the hurt in her eyes. Hermione, Draco imagines wishes she never helped him that night in the library but saying that, it could only mean that she suffers as well with her feelings for him…and how could she love him? Draco sat up and looked around as other students were now in the dorms getting ready for bed. He should being the same tomorrow it will be the first day of class and like everyone else he is a bit rusty. Though he imagines how great Hermione will be she won't even miss a step.

Draco lays back on his bed he had made a silent promise not to think of her but she is everything that is on his mind he can't own a single thought she is invading everything.

Draco glanced over as Goyle jumps in his bed with a loud yawn the bed creaks under his wake. Draco knows he is fortunate more than he deserves but knowing all the evil he has caused he is willing to allow himself to suffer.

"Good night, Granger." He whispers softly to himself and hugs his pillow praying he will be able to sleep tonight.


End file.
